I have grieved for my Father, my Mother, my brother, and my nephew. While each loss felt different, I knew each to be like an energetic amputation that left me changed. It feels like you are smaller, sometimes my edges were jagged, sometimes they were soft and porous. Sometimes my body would feel unreal to me, lighter, nebulous, sometimes it would feel heavy, burdensome.
There’s a great mystery in the process, we know the scientific explanation but even knowing how it happens doesn’t preclude the mystery. This is probably why we resonate with this cycle on a spiritual level; there’s a common sense of ‘not knowing’ what happens to us between our death and our birth as well, and here it is happening right in front of us but we still can’t quite ‘see’ it.