I have grieved for my Father, my Mother, my brother, and my nephew. While each loss felt different, I knew each to be like an energetic amputation that left me changed. It feels like you are smaller, sometimes my edges were jagged, sometimes they were soft and porous. Sometimes my body would feel unreal to me, lighter, nebulous, sometimes it would feel heavy, burdensome. At times I needed connection, at other times I’d withdraw. These are all reactions to physical loss, the world felt ‘less’ to me and this was me working out the new and different world that I inhabited. It’s like you’ve lost your senses – literally – and you can’t perceive your surroundings in the same way anymore, so your mind is frantically bouncing around trying to make sense of something it can’t comprehend.
So back to the book in my hand… each page is like a magic carpet with all the threads moving and undulating over a luminous aether of unseen energy. I gently turn the page and I’m struck by the little moment of joy, excitement, anticipation – the unknown words that are about to enter me via my eyes, my mind, my heart.
For some reason we are hard-wired to reject compliments but to accept and receive criticisms. We somehow believe that if we say ‘yes thank you, I love my hair also’ that we are being vain and that’s just not so. We may feel we must quickly offer them a compliment in kind, but this is in effect ‘mirroring’ their gift back and is a cunning way to not fully receive the gift offered to you by them. It’s like letting someone buy you a coffee and immediately reimbursing them for it.
I wonder if she realised how important that moment was to someone sitting in a car not 2 metres away… I doubt it, but then we never really know how our existence can impact another person, especially those we haven’t met. While she was experiencing the dandelion, I was experiencing her, experiencing the dandelion…
This is how we should use the Precepts; they are the ‘finger pointing to the Moon’ – we should use them to grow into our Awareness but don’t consider for a moment that they are the Truth themselves. We can get caught up on their various translations, which one is right and which version is closest to what Mikao Usui intended, but to me, as long as it remains simple and true to his intention – whatever works for you.
So, lets journey through the Precepts together travelling a little deeper through their layers and see where we end up…
There’s a great mystery in the process, we know the scientific explanation but even knowing how it happens doesn’t preclude the mystery. This is probably why we resonate with this cycle on a spiritual level; there’s a common sense of ‘not knowing’ what happens to us between our death and our birth as well, and here it is happening right in front of us but we still can’t quite ‘see’ it.